


Lie Low

by shambling



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Community: mwppfqf, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders era, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 01:17:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7338697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shambling/pseuds/shambling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is hard to pick up where you left off, especially when one of you is a convicted criminal, and the other is a werewolf with issues. </p>
<p>Dumbledore has sent him to lie low with Lupin, but Sirius cannot help reliving their relationship as the distance between them closes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lie Low

_"Lie low at Lupin's for a while. I will contact you there."_

 

*

 

He stops enroute to scrawl a note, attaches it to a school owl, and then, Sirius starts to run.

 

M,

 

Harry safe, I am coming.

 

P

 

He has time to think whilst he lopes along, but chooses not to, instead, letting the uncomplicated joy of Dog flow over him, pushing himself faster and faster, racing up the mountain, panting slightly, to where he knows Buckbeak is hidden. 

 

He knows where he will go, knows it like he knows his own name, and he fears it. But there is no time for that now, the time for thinking will come later. 

 

He rises from dog to man as he enters the cave, and nods to Buckbeak, who rustles his wings nervously, anxious to fly, picking up on the emotion.

 

Sirius has no possessions to speak of, only letters which sit inside his robes already. And so he simply climbs from a rock onto Buckbeak's broad back, urging him out of the cave, and up into the night sky. The vast wings flap hard, pumping and turning as they gain altitude, and then they are high, dizzyingly high, with the people below like stick figure drawings. Sirius turns Buckbeak south, and the hippogriff finds a thermal for them to glide.

 

Travelling, Sirius has time to think, and indeed nothing to do but think. He wishes, quite heartily, that there was more to his journey than heading south, towards yorkshire, but for the time being that is it, and so, he allows himself to think, carefully, painfully, of Remus.

 

He thinks of the last time he saw him, his robes, patched and shabby, his shoes scuffed, hair and mustache neatly trimmed, but still falling forwards into his face. 

 

He thinks of the letters he spent 13 years composing in his head, but did not write.

 

He thinks of the letters Remus did write.

 

 

*

 

_Dear Sirius,_

_I hope you can forgive me one day old friend, that not only did I think you the traitor; but that I allowed him to escape._

_I have resigned my position at Hogwarts, and moved back to the cottage. I hope that I will find work soon, and that you are enjoying freedom. Go somewhere warm, you deserve a break._

_Remus_

_Dear Sirius,_

_I would dearly love a holiday, you know I would, but I can only think that my presence would be a hindrance in your efforts to lie low. The world has moved on whilst you were inside, but the wizarding community still knows a curse scar when it sees one, and the muggle community could be friendlier to to men living together, and you know it._

_I have missed you, I wrote to you, when you were gone, like a diary, a book of letters I never sent. one day, maybe, I shall show you. I hope that you would not judge me too harshly for some of the things I did._

_Remus_

_Dear Sirius,_

_Of course, I agree that Harry will need all the help and protection that can be offered to him, but please, be careful. I could not bear to lose you again so soon._

_Remus_

_Padfoot,_

_There, I am not being stiff and formal with you and I don't know why you think I would be. I know you cannot write often, but then, neither can I. I wish we could talk more freely, and I hope that soon you will be able to speak with me, I miss you. I miss all of you._

_Always,_

_Moony_

_P,_

_Don't you dare. Don't even think about it, I will hunt you down myself._

_M_

 

 

 

Padfoot,

_Thank you for the birthday card. I always did like pawprints._

_Moony_

_S,_

_Yorkshire. The place where we.  You can come, any time you know. I'd let you in._

_R_

_*_

The letters have been so beautiful and vital, containing snatches of Remus, his moony, his best friend, confidant and all. But they have been stilted too, slightly awkward. Two men, rebuilding the tatters of a relationship. 

 

Each one reminds him of the dark days, the days when they had turned on one another, when he was sleeping on Frank and Alice's sofa, refusing to go home. When Remus had charmed the door shut and wouldn't come out. When James and Lily, huddled and afraid, taking it in turns to go out and in turns to stay in with the baby.

 

*

 

_"Remus, open the damn door, I am not having this conversation through the letterbox with the whole street watching."_

_He thumps the door, hard. Or at least he tries to, but instead thumps something invisible, solid, a shield. Trust the bloody werewolf to make their flat impenetrable._

_He tries a different tack, hoping, hopeless, desperate._

_"Remus, I understand. I know why you'd do it, but think of the baby. Think of Harry." The silence is his only answer. "You know they couldn't make you godfather, it wouldn't be safe, not for you, or for him. Remus please."_

_But the flat, their flat, his flat, stays silent, dark, impenetrable, sealed. Angry again, he stands up, tries to thump the shield again to take out his frustration. He goes to his jeans pocket, to take out his wand, but sees two muggle policeman watching curiously from across the street. He takes his hand away again, holds both up in defeat, and moves away from the door._

_"Problem sir?" Asks the first._

_"Wife chucked you out?" Says the second. Sirius smiles ruefully and nods, but says nothing. The two policemen nod, looking satisfied. "Best to find a sofa to kip on mate, it's a cold one already." Says the first. Sirius smiles again, and nods, he does not trust his voice yet._

_"We'll be seeing you then sir." says the second policeman, and Sirius is forced to walk away down the road, away from the man he thought he knew and loved._

_He keeps walking, all the way to the leaky cauldron, where he drinks two double whiskeys, before flooing quietly back to Frank and Alice's sofa._

_*_

Dawn is starting to rise, the first pink fingers of light reaching up into the darkened sky. Sirius looks down, swirling coils of mist on the moors, like the tendrils of the giant squid, and he thinks he is close. He wonders if the owl has arrived yet, if Remus is expecting him. 

 

He pictures him, dressed in the muggle jumpers he used to favour, holding a cup of tea and almost certainly a book.

 

He tries again, picturing Remus standing out in the garden, dressed as he was on their last meeting, watching the skies. Waiting.

 

None of the images stick, all trying to overlay an earlier memory, the cottage, before.

 

*

 

_The cottage belong to a distant Lupin relative, not much used, except for holidaying in, but it was perfect. It had a good, strong basement, dug down into the fens, the nearest life was more than 5 miles away, and it had one small bedroom, a cozy living room and fire, and a small kitchen on the back._

_Sirius had complained that the plumbing was prehistoric, and in response, Remus had smiled his dangerous little smile and offered to direct him to the pond._

_James on the other hand, had declared it perfect, and Lily had declared it: "well past supper." and made straight for the kitchen. Sirius had never had her down for a housewitch, but she conjured food best of all of them, and he did not like to complain. Heavily pregnant, and liable to snap at the slightest provocation, it was best to let her get her own way._

_They had toad in the hole and mashed potato, and after Lily had cried off to bed early, they drank wine and talked into the small hours. With the roaring fire, and the squashy sofa, it was almost like being back at school, and he had been sad when James too had gone to bed._

_Remus, ever the gracious host, insisted that he would have the sofa, and that he, Remus, could sleep on the floor, but whilst he was finding extra blankets out, Sirius transfigured the sofa until it was big enough to hold the two of them, just about, so long as he could convince Remus to cuddle._

_Remus had laughed, but conceded easily, slightly drunk, more pliant and willing than usual. Sirius knew he was drunk when Remus pulled on his pyjama bottoms, and had not rushed to find a top before taking off his robes._

_Sirius, naturally, had not bought a top at all, and was only wearing pyjama bottoms in deference to Lily's threat to hex him into next week if she saw 'little Sirius' again. (He had been quite hurt at her calling it 'little' but wasn't willing to risk a hexing by griping about it.)_

_Remus roused him from his reverie, suitably attired, he dropped onto the transfigured sofa, pulling the blankets up over them both. Through habit, Sirius reached out and pulled Remus tight to his chest, holding him possessively, and for once, Remus did not stiffen awkwardly, but instead let himself be pulled tight, a hot weight against Sirius' chest._

_Sirius does not dare to hope, but instead, decides he would rather push his luck._

_It is not entirely immoral, many nights they have spent in the flat in London, talking, just talking, and Sirius is almost confident he has read the signs right.  He is not entirely sure if even Remus has read the signs himself, but he thinks it is worth the risk. Tomorrow, they can blame the wine._

_Keeping the hand wrapped around Remus' chest quite still, he levers his weight up slightly on the other arm, pushing his face into the back of Remus' neck, breathing deeply. "What y' doing Pads..." Remus mumbles, sleepily, but he does not move._

_Emboldened, Sirius uses the arm across Remus' chest to knock him onto his back. He has just long enough to see Remus' eyes open wider, pupils dilating and then he leans down to kiss him._

_Just briefly, quite chaste. His own, dry lips, brushing against the corner of Remus' soft mouth. He feels briefly foolish, wishes he wasn't always working outside, so scruffy._

_He pulls back, looking down into the worried face below him, and his insides flop, Remus is not moving, he has misread the signs._

_"Moony, I..." is all he manages to say, before the pale young man below him has grabbed him. One hand grips his shoulder like a vice, pushing back, turning him onto his own back, the other, tangles almost painfully in his hair, angling his face. Moony pushes him onto his back, and it is at times like this Sirius is very aware that the young man who reads books 27 nights a month is terrifyingly powerful and strong. He closes his eyes, braced for a blow, but it does not come._

_Their foreheads touch, and then, Moony is kissing him, his Moony, all his. Sirius grips the back of his teeshirt with a fervour, tangling his fingers into Remus' hair, pulling him ever closer. Their kiss, deepens, Moony whines, low in his throat, they're both panting like they've run a race, cling to one another like survivors in the storm._

_*_

The sky is turning rapidly from pink to yellow, and Sirius feels his heart quicken a little. Unless he is very much mistaken, that speck in the distance is the cottage. He imagines he can see Remus, pottering in the kitchen, making tea, if he squints, he can pretend the speck is coming into focus, that he can see him now, coming out to stand on the path.

 

He remembers Remus the day they met, pale, shy, wide eyed and hidden behind a book.

 

*

_"Lupin, Remus Lupin." says the boy in the bed opposite, offering a hand to shake, oddly formal. Sirius shakes it, and wonders how he will get through the next 7 years with this boy for a dormitory mate. At least the boy he met on the train, James, is in with him. A lifetime of late night pranks is stretching out before him, but he shakes Lupin's hand politely and smiles at him, just in case. "Black," He says, "Sirius Black."_

_*_

They get closer and Sirius can stop pretending, as he urges Buckbeak forwards and down. He can see the vegetable patch, the flowers, sunflowers, turning to face the day. And then he actually can see him, Remus, standing on the front path, exactly as Sirius has imagined all these years. He tries to fix the image in his memory as Buckbeak wheels around. Remus, in his tatty striped pyjamas, frayed open at the seam from mid thigh to knee, pale blue striped, the jumper, soft, forest green wool, long enough to pull down over his hands, hair, ruffled from sleep, mustache, slightly awry. He is hugging himself, one arm wrapped tight across his torso, the other, holding a chipped and cracked mug. When Sirius is low enough he waves, just once, and then returns to holding himself. For a brief, hysterical moment, Sirius thinks he is holding himself up.

 

Too soon they have landed, and Buckbeak is stalking up the path, stopping to eye Remus, who inclines his head in a polite bow. Buckbeak bows back, and Sirius takes the moment to dismount, and then, they are face to face, and the weight of years is upon them.

 

They are stuck, neither able to make the first move.

 

Remus, very carefully, very deliberately, sets the mug on the stone gatepost, and then he grabs Sirius into a hug, gripping him tightly to his chest, breathing deeply into his neck, face damp with tears, and Sirius just holds him, lets himself cry a little, into Remus' hair, shuddering. "God i've missed you." He whispers, quietly, and into his neck Remus whispers back: "I've missed you too."

 

After a long moment, they break apart, Remus retrieves his tea and straightens up, looking business like, but with a hint of his old smile. 

 

"Come in, the sofa's getting cold."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to give Sirius and Remus a happy ending, but I'm also a sucker for canon compliancy. I'd like to think this fills the gap between when Dumbledore sends Sirius away in the 4th book, and the moment they're loitering in the kitchen together in the 5th film.
> 
> http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lCLtD__vwLE/VCg8fwAmJsI/AAAAAAAAGiY/Ce0SI0Gk0RI/s1600/Remus%2BSirius.jpg


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